Looking Back and Looking Forward

Very soon I will be saying good-bye to a job and a place where I've spent the majority of my waking hours for the last 7.5 years. As my days now seem to be filled with saying good-bye, I've had a chance to think back about the last years and to consider some of what they have been to me. These haven't been easy years for me, and for many others, both personally and professionally. 

In 2006, I lost my nephew very unexpectedly. It left a scar on my heart that in some ways, I hope will never heal. I wear it proudly as it represents the love and respect that I had for a great young man, and is a reminder to me of his tremendous life. Shortly after, we also lost my brother-in-law and father-in-law within just weeks of each other. Again, they were good men who had already contributed so much, and we all felt cheated that we didn't have more time with them. Those were very difficult times and I was so thankful to be surrounded by family and friends who "had my back", who tried to understand, and who let me grieve as I needed to.

In 2008, we started to experience the downward spiral of the economy. For John and I, we were caught in a "trifecta of potential career disaster" with our livelihoods depending on the housing industry, the financial industry, and the meetings/events industry. Everyone around us was similarly impacted by the economy and though nobody is out of the woods yet (will we ever be?), I am so proud of the fact that we were able to hold on the best we could. There were some pretty scary years and I'm thankful that we were both able to maintain our careers allowing us now the opportunity to build for the future.

For myself professionally, my day-to-day work was filled with constant change and tremendous uncertainty. I was in a position where I needed to continually adapt, support and manage through change. There were some times that were very stressful but I was always thankful to have an amazing group of peers going through the same uncertainty with me who were willing to have honest and open conversations, and most importantly, always remembered how important it was to laugh occasionally in the face of crisis.

Difficult times may have marked some of these years; however, by no means are they all that I will remember. I choose to look back on these years and also remember some of the most amazing moments. 
*  Watching my daughter, Mollie, graduate from high school and go on to create her own (amazing) life in college. She will be graduating next Spring and I am so proud of what she has accomplished and so eager to watch her continue to flourish.
*  Seeing my daughter, Jennifer, graduate from college and begin building her own life with her husband. She has grown from a beautiful little girl into a beautiful woman and I'm honored each day to be able to be part of her life.
* Celebrating the births of my grandchildren. They bring me a joy that I can't even describe. When they are around, it is all about them in the best way possible - not because they demand it (well, maybe just a bit since they are only 2 years old and 6 months) - but more so, because when they around, it just seems like nothing else matters. I am thrilled to be able to focus on them and I don't want to miss a second.
* We've celebrated so many important family milestones: marriages, anniversaries, birthdays, the list goes on and on- supplying us with laughter and so many good memories.

Looking back, I realize that hard times and good times have sometimes come hand-in-hand.  Looking forward, I know that will continue to be. 

But I hope that the things that have carried me through these years (family, friends, peers) will continue to stand by my side.  That is my hope for you too. Whether you are right now in the midst of a good day or a bad day, a good year or a bad year, I want you to know that you are not alone, and that if you ever need someone who might understand....I am here.

Is This Reality?

Amber from “Teen Moms” gains celebrity for fighting with her boyfriend and waging war against him using her own little girl.  The ladies (trust me, I’m using that term very loosely) of “Housewives of New York City” hold celebrity status for spreading vicious rumors about each other, whining non-stop, sabotaging one another’s businesses, and even occasionally threatening their friends with bodily harm. The Kardashians portray a world in which the only thing that matters is image – even at the cost of true character.  Snooki and JWoww have lives focused solely on their current boyfriend or hook-up. Maybe you enjoy watching these reality shows (they are sometimes good for a laugh)... or maybe you don’t. I’m not judging these people or those who follow their lives. I’ve been known to get drawn into a marathon of “Say Yes To The Dress” and have laughed hysterically at the ridiculous, childish, downright mean, and sometimes legitimately “cray cray” antics of these women. In many cases, the worse character traits they represent, the more fun they are to watch (and the more famous they become). But whether you watch them or not, it is difficult to avoid their disturbing portrayal of today’s woman.

It all makes me wonder…in whose reality do these women truly exist?

The women of reality TV are nothing like the real women that I have known. The women I know are intelligent, strong, confident, independent, funny, and compassionate.  They are women who are focused on improving their minds through education or building their own businesses and careers. They are women who honor the responsibility of parenting and who also respect the wisdom of older generations. They are women who can create things of beauty, who bring passion to the world, and who share tremendous amounts of humor – sometimes even in the face of great pain. They support each other and encourage one another to be better. They show up when needed. These are the women that I’ve known. These are the women of my reality.

When I was growing up, TV brought me role models of what a woman can and could be. From Marlo Thomas on “That Girl” to Mary Tyler Moore – these women were smart, funny, caring, and making their lives matter. However, I think it is difficult today for young girls to find such role models on TV. And in fact, it is practically impossible for young girls today to completely avoid the outrageous stories about reality celebrity’s misadventures…and their resulting "idolized" status. It is so important for women of all ages to prove to the youngest generations what it is to be a real woman. I encourage you to take a moment today to help a young girl see what a real woman is.

It’s OK for Amber and LuAnne to live on our tv’s…as long as their behaviors don’t live in our homes.  It’s OK for us to laugh about Snooki and Kim... as long as we pay tribute to the true “reality” of women. 

We are not what the media and reality TV shows would like us to believe. We are better than that.

“Here's to Good Women…
May we be them...

May we know them…
May we raise them.”