Some Moments Are Secrets...And Only Happen Once

Several years ago, I traveled to Palisade, Minnesota to spend some time at the Long Lake Conservation Center. I had not visited this area of Minnesota before and was amazed by what I found there. The Center itself was lovely and filled with numerous hikes and paths leading to scenic spots around the lake. But there was an unexpected and mostly undiscovered area there - very much like a secret garden. Hidden deep within the woods was a bog and if ever there could be a place on earth where fairies might live, this would be the place. The spongey green earth was lush with life and the light had a spiritual, magical quality.

The Long Lake Woods...

One of the many trail markers...

A trail marker for the bog walk...but don't be fooled, this path won't lead you to the true hidden bog. That special place is a secret...

Color and light like no other place in the world...

A place for fairies to live?

This little mushroom standing up to the tallest trees...

I'd never been in such a place before and may never be again - some moments only happen once in a lifetime.



Reclaiming Lost Moments

Recently, I was going through a box of old photos – some of them duplicates, some of them discards that didn’t make it into the family albums for one reason or another. I ran across a picture of Mollie that I had long ago forgotten about.

When your toddler hands you a bunch of ANYTHING that they hand picked and says “these flowers are for you, mom”, trust me, they are no longer weeds.

In the photo , she is very little – maybe only 3 or 4 years old. We had gone to a friend’s party and there were no other little children there for Mollie to play with. But she has always been very capable of entertaining herself so she wandered into their backyard and began to pick “flowers”. I think they were actually weeds – the ones with the tiny little white blooms on top – but when your toddler hands you a bunch of ANYTHING that they hand picked and says “these flowers are for you, mom”, trust me, they are no longer weeds. Anyway, as she crouched in the grass picking flowers, she was so focused on the moment.  It was one of those moments that on the surface, doesn’t really mean anything but for some reason, it stays with you and it becomes meaningful. 

Fortunately I had my camera with me that day so I snapped a quick picture of the moment.  This was pre-digital camera era and when I had my film developed, I was disappointed that the photo didn’t really capture that moment in the way that I remembered.  It was a bit out of focus, Mollie was sort of a tiny element right in the center of the photo (bad composition), and due to a summer haze that day, the color was sort of… blah. It was a very different moment in my mind than it was in the photo I held in my hand. Through the years, I held on to it for sentimental reasons but at the time, I wished  it could be better.

And there it was...almost 20 years later...my memory.

When I rediscovered the photo the other day, I realized that with photo editing software and apps available now, maybe I could revisit that photograph and coax it back to the image that I held in my mind’s eye. So I snapped a photo of the photo with my iPhone and applied some simple editing with various apps. I cropped the image so Mollie was no longer sitting in the center and she became a larger point of focus. I bumped up the saturation so that the haze wasn’t as evident - making the greens of the grass more vivid. I applied vignetting around the edges – soft focus and darker edges – that again, helped to make Mollie the focus of the image. And…there it was…almost 20 years later…my memory.

For me, the beauty of photography has always been the ability to capture a single moment in time. You can then hold that moment in your hand and as your memory fades, just a glance at that photo will transport you back. When we all took pictures with film, it was a hit or miss game for many. We held the moments in our minds, and were often times disappointed with the results captured with our camera. Do you have a box of old photos laying around? Some of those disappointments that didn’t really capture the moment in the way you hoped? If so, set aside an hour or two to dig through and maybe you will rediscover some lost moments. Or better yet, maybe you will be able, through modern technology, to reclaim some moments that you thought had been lost forever.

A Taste of Minnesota...

There are many things that inspire in me in life but today two of them have come together and I hope that you'll indulge me in the next few weeks by allowing me to feed my passion for them both. As many of you who follow my blog might know, I try to write every week or so and share random thoughts on life and enjoying the moments that make our lives full. However, for the immediate future, I'm going to post a bit more frequently...and yet, I will actually be posting fewer random thoughts...and instead be focusing on some of the images that inspire me...and maybe you too.

Minneapolis/St. Paul Magazine is hosting a contest for a 3 day giveaway at one of Minnesota's most beautiful lakeside resorts. In order to win, entrants must post photos on Pinterest (one of my first sources of inspiration) of places in Minnesota where they love to hike, bike, drive (or in my view...just "be in the moment" (my second source of inspiration.) While I'd be happy to win the contest, that isn't why I'm going to share these photos with you.

Born and raised in Minnesota, I still live here by choice. I have traveled all over the world and though there are places I long to return for a visit and places I still yearn to see, I know in my heart that there is no other place in this world that I could ever call home other than Minnesota. Over the years, I've enjoyed exploring my home state - attempting to capture its spirit with my camera - and attempting to live in its spirit by enjoying each moment. So what will follow in my the coming weeks are a sampling of some of the Minnesota moments that I've captured over the years. Maybe you have been to some of these places or maybe these images will entice you to visit. Whatever the case, I  hope you will enjoy a peek into my Minnesota inspirations.

A winter morning in Northern Minnesota. The snow had fallen hard the night before and the trees were bravely holding their burden. I took a walk in the woods. There was not a sound anywhere. Everywhere your eye fell was covered with snow. It was astoundingly beautiful.

Minnesotans have a way of making the best of the weather we are faced with (or taking advantage of the weather we are faced with) depending on your viewpoint. These are kite boarders on Lake Mille Lacs.

Grand Marais might be one of the most beautiful spots in MN. This photo was actually taken in Two Harbors as you travel up the North Shore Drive from Duluth to Grand Marais. There is beauty at every turn.

Sometimes "the spirit" is all around you and you don't even realize it.

This photo was taken on the Gunflint trail which at the time was recovering from the previous year's forest fires. I liked the image because of the burnt wood surrounded by the promise of new life.

Just a few of my Minnesota memories and I'll be sharing more in the days ahead. Take a moment, grab a cup of coffee (or glass of wine in my case!), and just enjoy the beauty that surrounds each of us.

It's Ok...Behave Like A 2-Year Old!

My life has somehow changed over the last 20 years from partying until 2:00 in the morning…to partying with 2 year olds. From the moment I wake up on Monday morning, I find myself looking forward to Wednesday evenings. Not because it’s the middle of the week and we are that much closer to enjoying the weekend, but because Wednesday nights mean “Toddler Music Class” with my grand-daughter Sammy. I love watching these little kids interact together – for some, this might be their first social interactions with their peers. They might be shy – but they immediately recognize their commonality (“hey…that kid is holding a ball too”) and soon they approach each other, wasting no time with small talk but getting to the important stuff…playing. It’s a skill that many of us seem to lose as we get older.  If we are fortunate, maybe we regain it at some point - but with effort, perhaps we can recapture that energy a bit sooner.

When we first walk into class each week, the kids are each a bit shy. However, as Teacher Mary drags out the balls and instruments, suddenly their inhibitions are released. Aidan throws a ball (which was probably intended for his mother but his aim isn’t quiet defined yet) and the ball actually goes to Sammy.  She picks up the ball and looks at Aidan who quietly looks back at her. No words are exchanged. They don’t introduce themselves or ask “what do you do for a living?”. They don’t wonder about whether or not this person will like them or be impressed by them.  Sammy gently tosses the ball back to Aidan and they are now friends.

As we get older – like maybe the grand old age of five or six years old - we start to lose this inability to connect over something so simple.  It becomes evident to us from the world around us that there can be a vulnerability in extending yourself to someone who might be a new friend. We build up walls around ourselves  as we settle in with our close friends or our safe circles. We believe that going beyond those boundaries can be dangerous and because of our fears, we hide behind the small talk…we don’t return the ball that was mis-thrown.

Several weeks ago, my sisters and I visited our parents at their retirement community in Texas. Of course we loved seeing our folks and spending the time with them. But one of the things we commented on one day as we cruised around in their golf court (three in the front seat because that’s how WE roll) was how warm and welcoming everyone was. As we drove through the park, people not only gave us a courteous wave but shouted “hello!”, “how are you girls doing today?”, “will you be at the dance tonight?”. They didn’t really know us but that didn’t stop them from extending themselves to us. And when given the chance to visit together, they didn’t rely on trite conversation but instead shared stories about themselves, about their families, and about what was important to them. They allowed us to come into their “safe circle” and we left from our visit feeling as though we had made some friends.

I admire the ability to be open in 2 year olds and I admire the ability in older generations, so maybe I need to make an effort in my current life rather than waiting until I’m 65. And, in fact, I think that this is one area in which Facebook is of benefit. Because of Facebook, I have become “friends” with circles of people that I otherwise would not have interacted with on a daily basis – people I went to high school with but didn’t know well at the time, relatives who live thousands of miles away and I haven’t seen in many years, former coworkers with whom I might have lost touch, friends of friends, the list goes on. While some might argue that Facebook is superficial and you don’t really (can’t possibly) care about all these friends, I would disagree. I’ve come to look forward to seeing posts from my friends and learning about their lives.  Through posting/commenting/sharing, we keep the conversation going meaning that when we do see each other, we aren’t starting from nothing. We’ve been tossing the ball back and forth for some time….and we are comfortable.

So we continue to grow and change, our circles of friends change, and our openness to new friendships change as well. And while I can probably still (occasionally) manage to stay up to 2AM, it’s my rock-star party life with the 2 year olds that bring real joyful moments to my days.  Having the opportunity to see the world through their eyes for just a few moments, reminds me that sometimes it’s ok (and maybe even recommended) to go ahead and behave like a 2-year old!

No Good In A Bed, But Fine Up Against A Wall...

 A rose is a rose is a rose is a rose. 

Gertrude Stein

Feeling fully immersed in the grey, cold, dreary and boring month of February, I recently purchased a dozen roses for no other reason than their color just seemed to call to me. Later that day, I took a few pictures of them and then wondered if I might be able to challenge myself in the days ahead to photograph the roses in a completely different way each day. As I set about this project, I found myself thinking about these roses: the color they brought into my world, the fragrance they brought to my senses, the lift they brought into my days. And as I thought about them each day, I appreciated more fully the impact they had on my moments as they came into full bloom and then began to wither.

This post will not be like any I've done before. There are no words that I have to describe the lasting beauty of a rose. So I'll rely on the words of people greater than I and through some of the photos taken this week...

People from a planet without flowers would think we must be mad with joy the whole time to have such things about us.
Iris Murdoch

God gave us memory so that we might have roses in December.
James M. Barrie

Days of wine and roses laugh and run away, like a child at play.
Johnny Mercer

 
Even as they changed and withered, the roses continued to bring joy and beauty in a new way. I was forced to try to see things in a different way each day and...it was hard. I found myself settling for the "easy" and gravitating towards the cliche of what was expected. I don't know that I was ever able to see the roses beyond the traditional but I guess I was reminded that it's easy to stick with what is easy and comfortable, and doing something new or different takes time, energy, thought, and a bit of courage.

But every now and then there is reward in doing something in a new way. Maybe you've fallen into a rut at work, in your relationship, with your workout routine, your hairstyle, or the music you listen to it. Whatever it might be that is making you feel grey and dreary...maybe it's time to shake it up in a new way.

I'll warn you: It can feel awkward and not everyone around you will always like the changes...or the results. But in the end, YOU might find that YOU like the result. This was certainly my experience one day after taking many photos.  It was actually the last one that I took that day (after I thought I just couldn't see the rose in a new way...but then had one more idea), that is the photo I liked the best of the series. (I won't tell you which one was my favorite.)

One of the most tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us tend to put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon instead of enjoying the roses that are blooming outside our windows today.
Dale Carnegie

Will you accept this rose?
Bachelors and Bachelorettes

 These simple golden roses brought moments of beauty into my dreary winter days and I’m thankful for that small blessing in a February world. And now I pass them on to you…hoping that these words and photos, will brighten just one moment in your day.

The world is a rose, smell it and pass it to your friends.
Persian Proverb

  And lastly, there’s this…

I once had a rose named after me and I was very flattered.
But I was not pleased to read the description in the catalogue:
no good in a bed,
but fine up against a wall.
Eleanor Roosevelt

Paraphrasing Willie Nelson and Julio Iglesias: "To All The Boys I've Loved Before"

Alternate title: "The Good, The Bad, and the Ugly"(Just kidding!)

February is the month of love - red hearts, sweet candies, and loving thoughts are at every turn. Though I've been married now for close to 24 years, I can still recall many of the relationships that I had prior to being married. I remember boys that I dated - some only once or twice and some for much longer. With Valentine's only days away, I've been thinking some about past "loves" and wondering..."Did I give away more of my "self" in those relationships or did those relationships help me to find my "self"?"

It's probably only natural that we are changed in some ways by every relationship in our lives. Sometimes those are good changes and other times, not so much. Unfortunately, I think most often it is when you are so involved in the relationship, that many of those negative changes rear their ugly head, and at those times you are least able to see the changes taking place. In this way and with the benefit of hindsight, I now know that I fell victim to some of these changes and that I sacrificed parts of myself in order to please the other person. When you're starting a new relationship, you are looking for that common ground that will allow you to enjoy a shared experience together. Sometimes this brings exciting new adventures to your life, and other times - through no malicious intent on anyone's part - you find yourself compromising in areas that were maybe once important to you. This is where the danger to "self" comes in - giving up things that were once important to you, not because you no longer care, but because the other person doesn't care that those things are important to who you are. I've been there and I've also been very fortunate to reclaim for myself those things that were once so important.

But it's the things that we gain from each relationship that make them valuable and memorable. We learn about the hard work that it takes sometimes to love another person. We learn about trust. We learn about true compromise. We learn about honoring, respecting, and most importantly, admiring the differences in the person we love. We learn about supporting someone when they are their lowest, and we learn about celebrating someone when they have found success. In addition, some other lessons I've learned from previous relationships...
* That I was just never meant to downhill ski
* That seafood can taste so good
* That Bruce Springsteen's version of "Pink Cadillac" really is better than the Tina Turner version.

All those boys that I dated, that I had crushes for, and some that I loved, brought me parts of myself. Through those relationships, I learned about who I wanted to be and who I didn't want to be.

So this Valentine's Day, take just a moment to think about "all the boys (or girls) you've loved before" and send them a quiet thanks for the good that they brought into your life, and, oddly enough, maybe even for some of the harder lessons. They helped you become who you are today. And that is a person who understands about love.

Can I Offer You A Coupon For Your Next Visit? (A slight rant...)

Once upon a time, in a quaint era not so long ago, conducting a purchase with your local department store was a quick (and yet, pleasant) experience that went something like this….

Clerk:   Good afternoon!

Me:        Hello!

Clerk:   Cash or Credit?
Me:        Cash.

Clerk:   That will be $18.52.

Me:        Here’s a $20.

Clerk:   And your change is $1.48 (handed to me along with my receipt)

Me:       Thank you!

Clerk:   Thanks for shopping and have a great day!

Time Elapsed:   Only a few moments!

However, somewhere along the line, what should be a very quick transaction has turned into a lengthy and mostly self-service process, as well as an invasion of personal privacy. Disclaimer: Please don’t read this as an indictment of the wonderful clerks working at these stores. They are great people and I know they are just doing their job – going through the steps forced upon them by their management team. And most often they are doing so with a smile! I know it isn’t their fault which is why I try to remain patient and polite.  However, submitted for your evidence (and perhaps only slightly exaggerated), the following scene from a recent shopping experience has become all too common...

Clerk:    Good afternoon!

Me:       Hello!

Clerk:    Did you find everything you were looking for today?

Me:       (Lying because it isn’t worth going into the fact that they are continuously moving product to remote and obscure store areas in order to encourage people to wander aimlessly about searching for the items on their list.) Yes.

Clerk:    (Holding up my new workout top) Oh this is really cute, I haven’t seen this here before.

Me:       (Voices in my head: Man, I hate it when the clerks assess my purchases. Thankfully I’m not buying anything embarrassing today like feminine products or a Nickelback CD.) Thank you.

Clerk:    Will you be using your reward card today?

Me:       No, I don’t think I have one.

Clerk:    Oh (looking disappointed), in order to receive the sales prices on all these items, you need to be enrolled in the reward program.

Me:      Do you mean that I won’t get any of the sale prices that were marked on all this stuff unless I give you my personal information and sign up for your program?

Clerk:    Well, it’s really just your name, address, phone number, and email address.

Me:       (Voices in my head: Yes, that would be my personal information). You know, I really don’t want to have to keep track of another discount card.

Clerk:    It’s no problem! If you ever don’t have it with you in the future, you can just enter in all your personal information and we’ll find you! Or we can give you a handy key ring card to always have with you!

Me:       (Voices in my head: Great.)  Well, I guess I don’t really have a choice.

Clerk:    It will only take a moment and you can do it directly from the keypad….

Me:       (Maybe 3 Minutes Later) – OK, I think I’m now enrolled.

Clerk:    Great! Hmmmm….doesn’t seem to have entered into the system. Let me just quickly re-enter the information.

            (Minutes Later) All done!

            (Finishes ringing up the items)

Clerk:    Cash or Credit?

Me:       Credit.

Clerk:    Can I interest you in a “store name” credit card today?

Me:       No thank you.

Clerk:    You’ll qualify for an additional 15% off your in-store purchases today…

Me:       No thank you.

Clerk:    You’ll be eligible to receive numerous offers...

Me:       (Voices in my head: Am I stuttering here? Speaking pig latin?) No thank you.

Clerk:    Could I have your zip code please?

Me:       No thank you.
Clerk:    It just helps us to determine where our shoppers are from...
Me:        No thank you.

Clerk:    Could I have your email address so that we can send you valuable offers?

Me:       No, I’d rather not. Thank you.

Clerk:    Ok! (Eyeing me suspiciously like "why wouldn't anyone want to receive all our valuable offers?")  No problem!

Clerk:    Just go ahead and slide your card through the machine…

Me:       (Voices in my head: Argh…why do they have to make every machine different? I have to put on my cheater glasses on just to see which way to swipe it through!)

Clerk:    Just hit cancel for credit or the green button for debit and then enter your pin number.

Me:       Oooookay…

Clerk:    Looks like you qualify for a $5 rebate with your reward points, would you like to use those now?

Me:       (Assuming that will add more time to this transaction) No thanks.

Clerk:    Will you just verify the amount...

Me:       Ok…

Clerk:    Then just go ahead and sign…

Me:       (Grab the electronic pen to sign – most of the reader screen doesn’t work so my signature looks absolutely NOTHING like my actual poorly written signature – however, apparently this doesn’t raise any questions about the validity of my signature as the transaction is then approved)

Clerk:    (Pulls out receipt) Would you like the receipt with you or in the bag?

Me:       I’ll take it – thank you.

Clerk:    Well, it looks like you saved $684 today! (Voices in my head: or some other equally inflated amount.)

Me:       Great…thanks. (Voices in my head: Can I please go now?)

Clerk:    At the bottom of your receipt, you’ll see a link to a survey about your experience today. We would really appreciate it if you would complete the survey and you’ll then be eligible for fabulous prizes!

Me:       (Holding my hand out, desperately hoping to get my receipt and my purchases which are being held hostage through this entire transaction.) Sure. Thanks.

Clerk:    And just one moment, while I print out a valuable coupon for you.

Clerk:    Ooops…I guess there’s one more coming….

Clerk:    Well, it’s your lucky day – here comes another coupon…

Me:       (Voices in my head: And another tree falls in the forest….)

Clerk:    (Handing me the receipt….finally!) Thank you so much for shopping with us today. Please stop by again soon.

Me:       Thank you!

Time Elapsed:   I now have to return to the store to buy a box of hair color since I have gone gray in the time it has taken to complete this transaction!

Now, before you point out the obvious and tell me that much of this could be avoided if I would just use cash – let me assure that I’m aware of that. But unfortunately, I NEVER carry cash (repeat to all would-be muggers reading this…I NEVER carry cash). I’ve been using a card quite efficiently for a number of years. However, it’s only in the last year or so that I’ve noticed an elevation in the number of steps required to complete a transaction.

I do appreciate quality customer service and I appreciate all those who work in the stores that I love to visit. It’s just that sometimes, by the time I’ve completed my purchase, I feel like I should maybe invite them over for dinner or something. I mean after all, they know me better than my husband at this point. They have all my personal details, they’ve seen every personal item that I’m purchasing, and I feel like we’ve really bonded with this time spent together.

I guess I've ranted about this long enough. Thanks for listening and before you go, it's your lucky day, let me just print a couple coupons for your next visit....