Preparing For The Journey

There are many things that I love about travel. Seeing new and unique places, meeting people from other cultures, tasting local foods and seeing a bigger picture of our world all rank high on the list. But the element that probably defines me as a true travel geek is the fact that I love preparing for the journey...almost as much as the journey itself. 

Soon, I will be traveling to Spain and I've been enjoying the preparation for this journey. I've been brushing up on my  non-existent Spanish skills.  While I certainly am not conversational, I can ask for directions and order a beer....which, let's be honest, can amount to survival skills. I've also been reviewing my itinerary and creating a detailed packing list (another geeky thing I love...lists) and am enjoying planning what clothes to bring and envisioning the places I will wear them. I will pack too much as I always do and swear that "next time, I will not pack so much!"  I'm thinking about my responsibilities at work and planning what I need to take care of prior to leaving, what will need to be addressed during my journey, and what I'll need to take care of once the trip is done. It's said that the trick in life is to "not look for joy in the destination, but rather in the journey". I believe that to be true, and for me, some of the joy is in preparing for the journey itself. However, not all journeys are eagerly anticipated and preparing for those journeys not so joyful.

On Friday of last week, my older brother, Mike, received some very difficult news. He has been battling health issues for many years. He's a fighter and has overcome numerous health obstacles. But it seems that his body is tiring of the fight and now his doctor has told him that it is time for him to prepare for what will come next for him. As he begins to take this all in, he is suddenly faced with what must seem like endless preparations: appointments with hospice, medications to be administered, paperwork to be managed, people to be informed, wishes to be communicated, material decisions to be made, family to be held and prayers to be spoken. With a difficult journey ahead and preparations to be made, Mike is doing what he must and he is continuing to fight. 

It's a journey that each of us will make. Some of us will be given the opportunity to prepare and others of us may not be allowed that time. And even though we know this in our heads and know that we probably should be taking a moment each day to make these same preparations, we feel a false sense of luxury in the time we have ahead of us. 

But if I might, I will ask you to do two things today. First, if you have a moment, please send up a prayer for Mike - a prayer for his health, his strength, and his comfort as he continues to face life's challenges. And second, take just a moment to consider the words that he shared yesterday...."Be good. Love everybody."  I think that about sums it up...what else could there be?

Beautiful! Gorgeous! Wish You Were Here...Moab, Utah

When we arrived at the Minneapolis airport and told the ticket agent we were traveling to Moab, and she responded with a completely blank expression...."I have no idea where that is", I knew we were in for a trip to a very unique place in the world. Moab lies on the eastern border of Utah, near Colorado, proudly placed near Arches and Canyonlands National Parks. It is a place of raw beauty where everywhere you turn, you are reminded of our own insignificance in this world.

To say that the scenery is beautiful seems to be a very weak description for a place with such grandeur. There is quite literally nowhere you can turn where you aren't facing a canyon, a cliff, a desert, or a mountain that has stood there for thousands of years...that has stood the test of time. On our first full day in Moab, I was fortunate to have the opportunity to stand on the overlook of Dead Horse Point and watch the sun rise over the canyon. (This is the canyon where Thelma and Louise took their final...drive.) It was spectacular and I could only think about how huge and vast this space was and how I was so insignificant standing over it. We then journeyed to Canyonlands and stood next to trees that have stood watch over those canyons since before the time of Christ. And all I could think was that my life is just a heartbeat in comparison. Those trees have stood there through countless generations and will continue to stand there long after I am gone. The experience left me feeling insignificant in comparison to the universe but also, in a way, feeling quite connected to the universe as well.

We happened to be in Moab during "Gay Adventure Week" and on one of our free days, we went into town for the Gay Pride parade. As far as gay pride parades go, this was a pretty small affair but the people who were there were so joyful and so accepting of everyone who joined them. I stood just a few feet away from the mayor of Moab as he kicked off the parade that morning. He said:
"Today we bury fear and recognize our common humanity with all its differences. We are bound together by humanity. Regardless of whether you are rich or poor, regardless of your color, your sexual preference, your politics or any other fact - each one us puts on our pants the same way." 

This is what travel is. When you go to another place, maybe even a place that the ticket agent at the airport didn't even know existed, you are given an opportunity. It is a chance to find your place in the universe, however small. Or to find your place in history, however insignificant. Or to simply be reminded that no matter where we are, we all share a common humanity.

So what to do in Moab?
1. At some point in your stay, hire a guide! I spent a day with a local photographer (Bret Edge - check him out at www.bretedge.com.) There is no better way to learn about an area than to explore it with someone who knows every back road, every hidden overlook, the name of every tree and plant. It will give you an insight to the destination that you will never find on your own.
2. Dead Horse Point - you HAVE to stand on this overlook and look into the canyon below - and if you can do it at sunrise, all the better. Stand with someone you love. Or stand with a cup of coffee and take it in on your own. However you choose to do it, just stand.
3. Shop at "Cowboys and Indians" on the main street in town. The jewelry there is unique, local, beautiful and the prices are very reasonable. I bought a bear pendant (to symbolize strength) and an opal and turquoise ring shaped as a buffalo which has so much symbolism within my family.
4. Eat at Jeffrey's Restaurant. Overall, the restaurant service in Moab leaves much to be desired. The food is good almost everywhere but in many cases is served by young kids who are only working enough hours to support their habit...not drugs...but canyoneering, or riding, or biking, or other adventures. It makes them interesting and fun but not the most committed servers. However, the service at Jeffrey's is outstanding and the food is five-star. 
5. Do NOT call Moab Taxi to take you to the airport on the final day of your trip when you have no other transportation. I'm not kidding. Do Not Call Moab Taxi. Instead call my friend, Tom the taxi driver, with 259-taxi. He saved us by getting us to the airport on time with a last minute emergency call (it's not like there is a taxi at every corner in Moab). Tom is a hippie cowboy...after enjoying the 60's in Haight Ashbury, he became a guide of sorts. He was kind, interesting, and treated us as though we were no less than the Baron and Baronness he had escorted through the area the day prior. 
6. Look UP. The first night we were there, I just happened to glance at the sky and it literally took my breath away. There are more stars there than I ever imagined. Look Up.
7. Most importantly...take time to...stop....look around....take it in....and breathe. In Moab, none of us is as important as we think we are. It's okay to be reminded of this once in awhile, to feel small and yet a part of something larger at the same time...that is Moab.

Beautiful! Gorgeous! Wish you were here...Bahamas

We are on "Caribbean island time" and there can be no rushing and there will be no stress. This is how I am greeted when arriving in the Bahamas for an event at the Atlantis and a stay at the One and Only Ocean Club...and I find it to be very true.

Had I come for sunshine and beach time, I would have been very disappointed as it has rained almost continually since my arrival. September is rainy season and the time for hurricanes though thankfully we have only had showers. However the weather doesn't dampen the spirits of the group I am traveling with or the energy of the destination. I've realized during this trip that I had misperceptions about Atlantis even though I had never visited here. I envisioned it as an overly large playground for adults and while it is large, and it is a playground for people of all ages, it is these things in the best way. The resort is massive but easily navigated and most everything is a short walk or shuttle ride away. The hotels are fabulous and the food is amazing. Between us, I travel with the best intentions of eating only fruit for breakfast and a light salad for lunch but instead find my plate somehow filled with eggs and bacon in the morning and coconut shrimp in the afternoon. Oh well...so much for good intentions.

I have been attending a trade show this week sponsored by a number of hotels in the Caribbean. Think of it as speed dating for hotels and buyers. We had two days of back to back 20 minute appointments with each hotel to learn about their properties in hopes that we will have some group business to bring to their destination.  I visited with hotels from the Dominican Republic, Colombia, US Virgin Islands, British Virgin Islands, Aruba, Antigua, Mexico....the list goes on.

I was joined by about 40 other buyers and four days ago, we were complete strangers to each other. But I know them now. I know about their businesses and more importantly, I know about their lives, their families, their stories and their hopes. Over nightly dinners (with open bars), we have talked and laughed and become friends.

Now the show is over and I've transferred to the Ocean Club for a private one night site visit. This is a 5-star luxury resort visited by the rich and famous (of which I am neither). It is the best of elegant luxury and my butler awaits my any command. Yes...my butler...I just wish I could think of something for him to do. I now need to finish my hotel tour and then catch up on some work, but then plan to enjoy a glass of wine in a hammock overlooking the water. I am by myself but as my driver, Bernard, told me as we approached, "welcome to the One and Only where no one is ever lonely". (The islanders tends to talk in Iambic Pentameter, I'm not sure why).

So what were the moments that mattered in the Bahamas?

* Making new friends with people from all over the world.

* A particularly creepy bonding moment with a fish at Atlantis who I refer to as "Mr Limpet". Does anyone remember that movie with Don Knots from the 1960's about a man who fell in the ocean and turned into a talking fish? I swear to you this fish looked exactly like him and as I stood in front of his tank, he swam up to me and stared eye to eye. I couldn't break the gaze and I felt guilty walking away. What was he trying to tell me? I might never know. (Of course, a few glasses of wine might have been the real reason behind the power of this encounter but...believe what you will.)

* Watching the most incredible sunrise over Atlantis. The sky exploded with neon red and orange - it was spectacular.

* Hookah smoking...long story.

* And then back to my driver this morning. We were chatting about the weather as he drove. He shared his philosophy that a little rain just doesn't matter and you have to have a great time wherever you are... enjoy the moment. I realized then that we were kindred spirits. Then he told me about the singing he does for his church and I asked him the name of his favorite hymn. For the rest of the drive, he sang "How Great Thou Art" in the most beautiful baritone voice I've ever heard. It was a blessed moment for which I'm grateful.

Yes...How Great Thou Art...

Beautiful! Gorgeous! Wish you were here!!

"Beautiful! Gorgeous! Wish you were here!" These are the words unexpectedly exclaimed by Meg Ryan in the movie "French Kiss" as she walks down a street in the French Riviera. She is there to find her ex-fiance who has fallen in love with a French woman and to make him once again fall in love with her. She travels to this foreign country where she can't speak the language or eat the cheese (because she is lactose intolerant), and she does so with this singular goal in mind. However, along the way, she meets a Frenchman played by Kevin Kline and of course, she eventually realizes that her ex-fiance was a loser and she is in fact, now desperately in love with this new man. (Oops...spoiler alert.) Anyway, there is a scene in the movie as they are walking, having a conversation about what to do next and Meg is very focused on the task at hand - she must find her ex and reclaim his love - when suddenly, out of nowhere, she stops, holds out her arms, looks around and is fully in the moment as she sees all the beauty around her. It is then that she throws this blessing and wish out to the Universe..."Beautiful! Gorgeous! Wish you were here!"

I've had this same thought many times while traveling around the world and as I begin traveling once again, I've decided that rather than just randomly throwing the thought out to the universe, I'll share some of these beautiful moments with you. My job is to find out about wonderful destinations in the world at which companies can host meetings and events for their employees, sales force, or clients. I travel to these places in order to visit the finest hotels, dine at the best restaurants, and see what each place and each culture offers for groups to visit. (I know what you're thinking..."where do I apply?" - trust me, it isn't always quite so glamorous). While I am doing these "site inspections", I am very focused - I'm looking at square footage of meeting space, ceiling heights, distances to airport or cultural attractions, conditions of properties, levels of service, etc. In the past, I've allowed myself to focus only on some of these elements while not necessarily giving due justice to the "beautiful and gorgeous" of each place. 

So travel along with me in the coming months. We will journey first to the Bahamas, and then to Moab, Utah (which is actually a personal trip), on to Scotland and then to Ireland...and who knows what else we might throw in there in-between. Along the way, I'll share with you what I'm seeing. Maybe some of these places are places that you plan to go or dream to go, or maybe they are just places that you will see through my eyes. In any case, I'll take you along and I'll be sure to stop often during the journey...taking a moment to exclaim "Beautiful! Gorgeous! Wish you were here!"

A Very Belated Apology To My Older Sister...

There is a bank of deserted telephone booths in a small town in northern Minnesota and every time I drive by, it makes me feel just a little bit nostalgic. At one time, phone booths were everywhere and then almost overnight, cell phones made them irrelevant. Practically everyone now carries their own phone in their purse or pocket and I realize that my grandchildren will never know the simple pains and pleasures of a life with one shared house phone that hung on the wall or sat on the counter. I'm sure many of you remember what it was like. Everyone in the house had to wait their turn to make a call, or were constantly being scolded to "get off that phone", and would race whenever it rang to have the honor of answering it..."I'll get it! I'll get it!" To my grandkids, these stories will sound as unbelievable as the stories we heard from our own parents and grandparents about walking to school over a  mile, up hill both ways, in snow up to their waists, with nothing but a hot potato in their pocket to keep them warm...and then they would have to eat that potato for lunch. (Or at least, that's the story my dad always told me.) To be honest, I think I and my peers will likely be the last generation to even have a phone in their house - my younger nieces and nephews do not, neither do my daughters. Yet, for those of us who grew up with a landline, we are resistant to let it go - whether it is due to a sense of security (what if all the cell networks stop working?), or simply holding onto something from the past. 

Anyway, I was thinking about this as I drove by these deserted phone booths last weekend and remembered a time when I needed to make a call, and because there were no cell phones in 1982, I had to use a phone booth. My friend, Janice, and I had taken the day off from school to tour a business college in Minneapolis. She drove and, as will likely happen to a couple teenagers girls from the suburbs, we quickly got lost in the city and had no idea where to go. We finally saw a phone booth and Janice pulled over so I could call my dad for directions. I dropped in my dime (kids, that's what dimes were originally created for...to make calls from phone booths....and to find under your pillow from the tooth fairy...I have no idea what dimes are used for now) and called my dad's office. I told him we were lost and asked him where we should go. He asked me to look around for a street sign and tell him where I was which I did. And this is what he told me..."Theresa, it doesn't matter where you go, just get out of there." (Apparently, we weren't in the nicest part of the city.) And that's what we did.

Anyway, there's really no point to my entry today. Just sharing a memory and a moment of nostalgia with those of us who used to share the same phone. And also a very belated apology to my sister who I completely humiliated in 1978 by answering the phone when her boyfriend called and telling him she couldn't come to the phone because she was in the bathroom. That was another problem with sharing a phone...overly honest siblings.

Facing The Next Phase

As most of us do throughout our lifetimes, my daughter Mollie transitioned through a number of phases as she was growing up. Each phase of her story was lived with great passion and commitment but when it was time to move on, that is what she did - moved on to the next step in the journey. I'm trying today to remind myself of this and to learn from the lessons of her phases.

I think it all began when she was about three years old and decided that she would wear nothing but dresses. However, because she was a typical 3-year old, her days were rough and tumble. Looking back, I think I might have been able to pay for her first year of college with what we spent in new pairs of tights alone. Each day, she would run off in her dress and a fresh pair of white tights. And each day, she would come home wearing tights that were barely held together by the runs in each knee.

The dress phase gave way to the leggings phase. One day, for no specific reason that I can recall, she decided that she would no longer wear dresses...at all. And instead, we invested in a wardrobe that consisted only of black leggings and coordinating tops (much as my own wardrobe does now actually.)

Then came the denim head scarf years which were likely brought about by the "my hair is on vacation today" phase. For nearly 2 years, she wore a little denim head scarf every single day. Knowing that she took this fashion accessory very seriously, I tried to buy her other scarves to wear and in a pinch, she would occasionally force herself. But it seemed to work best to just keep washing her favorite scarf until it was faded, and shredded, and took up permanent residence in my cedar chest.

It seems at that point, her phases became more intellectual. For many years, she dreamed of being an Egyptologist someday. She even mummified my childhood Ken doll and created a sarcophogus for him from an old shoe box as a school project (he lies, still mummified, next to her denim scarf in my cedar chest.).

All these phases carried her though grade school, her high school years, and to her most recent phases of college, then graduating, and now, just yesterday, she began a new phase - living on her own away from home. She is happy and so excited and though I will miss her and occasionally worry, I am reassured by the fact that she always faces each new life phase with passion and commitment and each new phase has been better than the one before.

This is where the lesson lies for me as well. Because, as she transitions on to this next phase, I am facing my own transition as well. I've called John and I "empty nesters" before - each Fall when she would return to school. But the truth is, I always knew she would be coming home each summer. It was only a temporary phase. That's not the case this time, it is likely that John and I are truly full time, permanent, for the rest of our lives, empty nesters now. And, I'm allowing myself to "mourn" the past phase just  a bit today...and today only. Because the reality is that I know this next phase will be exciting and full of amazing experiences and many happy days. 

My brother, Steven, is also moving on to a new phase of his life this weekend. On Friday, he served his final day as a police officer with the Crystal Police Department. After 32 years of service, this "job" has been a part of his identity, his co-workers have become his family, and I expect for him, moving on to the next phase might be leaving him with the same sense of regret and yet, excitement for what comes next that I'm experiencing too.

I've long held the belief that some of the greatest lessons in life can be taught to us by watching our children and being open to the lessons that their lives have for us. So, it's with this in mind that I look back up on dress and legging years, denim head scarves, and all the other phases that Mollie went through as she found her way in life. And I know that most phases of our life, while loved and enjoyed, are only temporary and are meant to bring us to the next step. So we box up memories of the old, and put them in cedar chests to be taken out and held every now and then. But more importantly, we face the new phase with equal passion and a sense for adventure and anticipation of what lies ahead.

Wherever you find yourself today, whatever phase of life you are in, I hope that you are living the day and enjoying the moments as they come. 

What Happens To The Moment You Are In?

I began a new adventure this week and along with it...a new commitment. There are not too many things that I regret up to this point in my life but there is something that I regret greatly. I've been fortunate to have the opportunity to travel to some amazing places - Tahiti, London, Amsterdam, Paris, Costa Rica, Puerto Rico, Hawaii - and at the time, I knew I was lucky to be there. However, I also struggled with a conflict of feelings about where else I should be at the time or what else I should be doing. For many of those years, I had young children at home and being away from home left them and my husband on their own to manage daily life. So while I was grateful for the places I visited, I wasn't living in the moments that I was in. I  focused instead on what I was missing, what I should do when I got home, what were my next "to do's", and a million other thoughts that took me away from the present.

What I know now is that none of that did me any good. I was where I was and other responsibilities were where they were. And ignoring the experience that I was currently in as I concentrated on the places I was not, didn't allow me to be in both places at once but rather, I'm not sure I was fully in the place that I was in! (Wow...that just might be the most confusing sentence I've ever written but yet also one of the most honest.)

However, I'm older now (and maybe even just a tiny bit wiser) and I've grown to appreciate life in a different way. I know that I can only be in one moment at one time and at this point in my life, I have the luxury of allowing myself to focus on the present. So, as I dig into my new venture, I have made a commitment to myself - that I will do it differently this time. I will pay attention. I will appreciate the present. I will live in the moment. Not only when I travel, but to the best of my ability everyday of my life. 

Perhaps you will consider a similar commitment to yourself. In fact, you owe it to yourself. Don't look back with regret about moments that were lost. Enjoy the moments today....