Today I am celebrating my 46th birthday. I don't worry about telling anyone my age because getting older doesn't really bother me. Not that I love everything about it. I'm not sure that I love the additional wrinkles that I seem to wake up with every morning. However, I remind myself that those wrinkles, laugh lines, and imprints of past sorrows have been earned and honored through the years so I should wear them proudly. I'm not a huge fan of the fact that my vision seems to get worse every day either. I have cheater glasses everywhere and the magnification keeps increasing! I don't always like to think about the fact that if I'm fortunate to live to a great old age, I've already lived about half of my life. Yet, I'm so excited about the next half - continuing to watch my children live their adventures, enjoying my grandchildren, and growing old with John. There is still so much to look forward to!
Maybe the reason aging doesn't really bother me is that I haven't fully come to terms with it mentally and with how age impacts my own perception of me. Every month, "MORE" magazine, features a woman of about my age - they list her actual age and her accomplishments - and that is always my favorite article to read. I love looking at the photo of someone who is my approximate age but who is a complete stranger because I can be completely objective of how old they look. I look at the photo and think "is that how people see me?" For some reason, I can never quite equate myself to the women in the photos who are my own actual age. It isn't because I think I look younger or older than they do, it's more a perception of who they appear to be compared with how I see myself. Most often, I look at their photos and think they look so sophisticated, wise, settled...grown up. However, I would use none of those words to describe me. I suppose maybe I've gotten a bit smarter over the years but I certainly wouldn't say wise - I have much yet to learn. I settled down years ago but wouldn't say that I've settled "in" - there are still so many new experiences that I want to have. Sophisticated and grown up? Not me! Most days I find that I am just as goofy and immature as I was "in my youth". I often times wonder, will I just wake up one day and suddenly feel all grown up? I hope not!
I wear my wrinkles proudly and am honored to tell anyone my age. And I'm happy that my head hasn't yet caught up with my actual years. I hope that I never stop wanting to learn, to try new experiences, and to be a little silly sometimes.
Maybe that is the wisdom I've gained in my 46 years.
3 comments:
thats a good article theresa has alot of true meaning happy birthday
46 looks damn good! Hope I look that great when I'm 46!
Great blog post Theresa. At all ages you have set the bar high, I don't imagine that will stop.
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