We Are All Dealing With "Something"...

Have you ever had one of those weeks where the stars seem to align against you and everything you touch, goes bad? I've been experiencing such a week myself and have had some moments in the past few days of feeling pretty sorry for myself. Looking back, none of it was a major, a project that didn't go right, a communication that  was misunderstood - that kind of thing. We all have those moments, those days, and those weeks when we find ourselves dealing with something that we would rather not. However, a revealing conversation yesterday, brought me back to this thing that I've always known, but quite often forget - no matter who we are, we are all dealing with "something".


Late yesterday afternoon, a peer of mine stopped by my office to chat. She and I have worked together for six years - I admire her greatly and think of her as a friend. However, due to a reorganization in the company a few months ago, we have not had opportunity to partner on any projects and have fallen out of touch. We've sent the usual emails saying "let's get together and catch up soon", we've exchanged birthday gifts, and passed each other in the hallways with just a quick hello.  Recently, I was in a meeting and saw her walk by and noticed that she had cut her hair. She has beautiful dark, long hair and her new cut was absolutely adorable. I tried to catch her at her desk to tell her how much I liked it, but never seemed to connect.  So I was glad to see her stop by yesterday. We chatted for a few minutes and then I told her again, how much I liked her new hairstyle. And that is when she shared with me that the reason she had cut her hair was because she would soon be losing her hair anyway, as she was undergoing chemotherapy for breast cancer. 


She was diagnosed in November after finding a lump in her breast during a self exam. She immediately went in for a mammogram and nothing could be found; however, the doctor could feel the lump so after much further testing, they determined there was something there and there was need for surgery. She underwent biopsies and then surgery in December, followed by radiation. She was feeling confident but in early January, her doctor told her that he felt she should undergo chemo so for the past few weeks she has been having treatments each week which leave her exhausted.


But you wouldn't know it to look at her. I've always admired her professionalism but now I find myself admiring her courage. As she told me about her recent struggles, her voice never cracked and she never shed a tear. She shared that she went wig shopping a couple weeks ago and found something that she really likes. And she joked that soon she would be coming to work wearing the greatest scarves and she thought it might just start a new fashion trend in our office - I agree that it will. She is actively beginning to pull together a Race for the Cure team and has started a website for additional activities to support breast cancer awareness. She is now beginning to share her story with people in our office and I was so honored that she chose me as one of the first to confide in. Although, I only wish that I had been more present the past few months to support her. She is 42 years old, she has two young boys, and she is dealing with "something" she would rather not.


You see, that's the thing. When you look at people, you might think they have it all together or that they maybe don't have any problems, or don't wish for anything else in this world. However, the truth is, when you have an opportunity to dig a bit deeper, you discover that everyone is dealing with "something" - sometimes it's as simple as a project that hasn't gone as expected, and sometimes it's cancer.


I guess the lesson to be learned is two-fold - be kind to yourself when you are dealing with something and know that you are not alone even though it may feel that way, and be kind to others... because everyone you meet is dealing with their own "something".