I’m absolutely furious as I throw everything into my suitcase. Tears flood my eyes making the task even more difficult. I can’t believe they would treat me this way, can’t believe they would do this to me. It was so undeserved! But it would end right here, right now. I feel slightly victorious as I imagine how bad they are going to feel when I’m gone, how much they will miss me…and how mad Mom and Dad will be at them.
I’m 7 years old (and perhaps just slightly over-dramatic). My older brothers and sisters are teenagers and they have been gleefully teasing me….for what I can’t even recall. With the benefit of hindsight, I know it was probably something silly (which was likely deserved since I was a bit of a geek) – they were never cruel or hurtful to me in any way. I just wanted their respect so badly that any level of teasing felt like betrayal. Anyway, at the time, I was really mad. I do remember storming to my room and filling my floral suitcase with all the essentials: a pillow, 10 pairs of underwear, and a candy bar. I remember sitting down at my white plastic cosmetic vanity which doubled as a desk, staring soulfully into the small mirror, and then putting pen to paper for a letter to them filled with all the threats and hatred I could muster. I remember trying to quietly sneak, with suitcase in hand, past the living room where they sat laughing at me, towards the door to my ultimate freedom. Once outside, I took a deep breath and felt powerful as my lungs filled with fresh air…and with the open road before me, I set out – I was running away from home and they would be so sorry. I had traveled quite a distance, at least three driveways away from home, when one of my sisters came running after me and convinced (or threatened) me to come home.
I was reminded of this day last week while doing some shopping in Northfield. There, in a small boutique, I saw the floral suitcase of my youth, marked “vintage 1970’s”. Without suspecting or having a chance to prepare, I was instantly transported back to that day when I was 7 – just by seeing a suitcase similar to one that I held that day. It was as if time and distance never separated me from that moment and I was full of the memory. I’m guessing this has probably happened to you too. You are going about your day when a song comes on the radio, or you smell a familiar fragrance, or you see something that you had long ago forgotten, but now suddenly remember so clearly. It’s as though you’ve been given the opportunity to travel back in time. And the chance to take a longer look around, and live in that moment for just a bit. As I get older, there seem to be more of these kinds of memories. And as I continue to age, I know at some point, those memories will become fuzzy and more difficult to recall. So, for now, I just take pause and live in those vintage 1970’s moments when they arrive.
What happened to my tormentors? Did my expertly written note to them inspire them to see my side of things and relent in their teasing? Nope…not a bit…because that is what brothers and sisters do. And of course, I also was guilty of teasing my little brother with little mercy. However, in spite of that (or maybe even because of it), they are all my best friends. We have laughed together about this day and a thousand other moments, a million times since I was 7 years old. And there is one thing I know with absolute certainty in this world - there is nothing they could do that would ever make me run away from them, and nothing I could do that would make them not come to bring me home.
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