It seems that so many of life’s moments have suddenly become opportunity for
grandiose gestures and larger-than-life efforts. Moments that are significant in of themselves now
require months of planning, extensive project plans, and a film crew. And it
leaves me wondering, do moments of our life only matter if they are “bigger” than
everyone else’s?
Every moment whether monumental or routine, and whether public or
private, has become a competition to be bigger than the one before...
- I feel sorry for 16 year old boys who not only have to stress about possible rejection when asking their crush to prom, but also have to plan an elaborate scavenger hunt of romantic clues culminating in fireworks which spell out “will you go to prom with me?”
- Weddings used to be enough work with arranging the service, buying the dress, drafting the guest list, and planning the reception. But now, we are led to believe that the invitations should be works of art delivered by a gloved messenger, all the décor should be handmade and personalized to the bride and groom, and guests should be entertained with photo booths and endless games. The father of the bride and bride should enroll in months of dance class in order to choreograph their own customized 7-minute dance parody, and after the wedding, we need to plan a “trash the dress” photo shoot as the bride and groom submerge themselves underwater in some sort of tropical location - destroying the dress that cost them (or their parents) a large sum of money.
- Service members arriving home (which, admittedly is a monumental moment deserving of recognition) now require elaborate plans to surprise their children in schools or in front of thousands at a national sporting event, all while it is recorded by film crews and broadcast across the internet. It seems that at least once each week, one of these videos will come across my computer and I watch them all…and I cry each time. They are beautiful and touching…and just a bit much sometimes.
I don’t mean to diminish the passion of the efforts or the intent
behind making these experiences so significant. And I admit to having been
guilty of “making the moment bigger” myself on more than one occasion. However,
I wonder about it sometimes. Where does it end? Do we become less sensitive to
the emotion in the present when we are constantly confronted with someone’s bigger-than-life
moment? And I guess, most importantly, does making things so BIG leave us
under-appreciating the moments that might be small?
I remember once when Mollie was a little girl – maybe 4 or 5 years old.
I was all about creating experiences for the kids when they were growing up –
going to the zoo, the renaissance, the Mall of America, dance classes,
horseback riding, instruments….busy, busy, busy. But one Saturday morning, Mollie and I spent
the entire morning sitting on the couch – with her snuggled in my arms as I
read to her. It was a beautiful day outside and there were so many things we
could have been doing; and in fact, I’m sure I had a list of things to do that day – experiences to make her day “bigger”. But somehow that all fell away and it was
just me, Mollie, and a stack of her favorite books. And yet, looking back, it is one of my strongest memories from when she was little. It was insignificant by most
accounts. No planning was needed. No invitations were sent. No photos were
taken. But, because of its simplicity, it was one of the best mornings ever.
As a former event planner, I understand and appreciate the makings of a
good event. And as I mentioned, I wholeheartedly take part in many of these
experiences as either planner or guest. I guess all I’m saying is that it’s
important to not let the planning and the creation of the memory overtake the
memory itself. Try to keep your eye on the smaller moments of life as well because
it is the sum of those smaller moments that come together to create your life
experiences, your memories, your story.
Enjoy the moment!
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