I can always
count on my sister-in-law, Julie, to have her ear to the ground about the
latest advancements and techniques in the beauty and self improvement
industry. And she is always generous
with her knowledge. In fact, one of the Christmas gifts that I received this
year was from her - it was a beauty treatment for your feet called “Baby Foot”. What
exactly is “Baby Foot” you might be wondering? Well, let me inform you…
"Baby
Foot is an innovative foot care product that will make your feet as smooth and
soft as a baby's foot. The unique formula of 17 types of natural extracts allow
your feet to exfoliate naturally leaving them highly moisturized. This
effective and gentle process removes the unwanted dead skin cells that have
built up layer after layer. In addition, Baby Foot can improve other foot
issues like: Foot Odor, Athletes Foot and Blood Circulation. So say goodbye to
rough, dry, cracked soles, by using a product that really works!"
Essentially,
it works like this. On a day when you have absolutely nothing better to do, set
aside an hour to begin the treatment. After washing your feet, open the package
which contains two Baby Foot booties – essentially plastic baggie “shoes” that
are filled with 17 types of natural extracts….otherwise known as “goop”. Tape the bags to your feet and place a pair
of socks over them. Now just lounge around your house for the next hour and
allow the goop to work its magic. (Wine drinking during this time is not
discouraged, and in fact, I strongly encourage enjoying a glass.) It is not recommended to walk anywhere while
wearing your plastic booties as it is sort of like trying to walk on glare ice…in
stilettos…with your eyes closed…after drinking wine.
After an hour
has passed, remove the booties and rinse off your feet. That’s it. Nothing will
have happened. So don’t look for miraculous changes. Your feet will literally
not look or feel one bit different than they were an hour previously.
However,
after a period of time, maybe 4-7 days, the dead skin
on your feet will start to peel and slough off. The instructions describe this
as a “gentle process”. Doesn’t sound so awful, does it?
Well…let me
just tell you that the Zombie Apocalypse is here and it has begun with my feet.
Exfoliating skin sounds sort of delicate. What I have going on is actual sheets
of dead skin releasing from my lowest extremity. It is not delicate. And it is not
pretty. (You can thank me now for saving you the trauma of looking at photos of
my current feet.)
I’m told that eventually this peeling will stop and underneath, my new skin will be soft as a baby’s. We’ll see.
What I didn’t
plan for when I put on my “Baby Foot” was the fact that yesterday I was
scheduled for my annual physical exams.
And…of course…yesterday is when the “Baby Foot” really started to work.
I tried to keep my socks on during the appointment but (Male
Disclaimer/Warning/Spoiler Alert: you may want to stop reading here) as any woman
knows, you aren’t always in control when your feet are in the stirrups. The doctor apparently needed to see my toes
in order to assess my….other regions. So she whipped off my socks before I
could say a word of warning.
And,
seriously, it was like it was snowing in the exam room. Dead skin everywhere!
She said “what have you done to your feet?” I tried to explain to her that
CLEARLY this was a BEAUTY treatment, done to make myself, specifically my feet,
more BEAUTIFUL. Duh.
She looked at
me like I was crazy and just shook her head.
Maybe I am
crazy. Over the course of my lifetime, I’ve participated in many “beauty”
treatments that didn’t quite go as planned leaving me wishing that I had just
left well enough alone. I guess I never learn. I don’t know if my feet will be
softer when this is said and done, or that anyone else will notice or care, but with all this skin shedding from my body, maybe I’ve
lost some weight?
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