In Honor Of Superbowl Sunday: The Half-Time of My Marriage

In the spirit of Superbowl Sunday, I thought I might share with you some of the wealth of knowledge about the game that I have accumulated over the years and some of my incredible insights. However, I then remembered that I know absolutely nothing about football so it was back to the “playboard” for a new strategy.  As I considered what I do know about football, I realized that though I know very little about the game, I do know some about another topic that holds some interesting similarities to the game of football and led me to the realization that I am currently in the half-time of my marriage.

So this is what I know about football, and more specifically, the Superbowl.  There are a series of games leading up to the real thing. The playing field is narrowed down until it comes down to two teams playing for the final championship.  On game day, there is much festivity, partying and entertainment leading up to kickoff - which is when the real work starts.  The game begins as teams take to the field with spectators, cheerleaders, and coaches watching the excitement. Throughout the course of the game, there are small victories and major setbacks, sometimes a team is penalized for doing something wrong, there is blocking, teamwork to complete a pass, lots of fumbles and interceptions. But eventually, someone manages to carry the ball past the goal line and everyone cheers for their success.  At the end of the game, it is the team with the most points that wins.

For a non-fan of football; however, the true highlights are found in the commercials throughout the game, and the spectacle of the half-time show. This is where football pays off.  For me, I prefer to talk or have some other distraction during the game, but when the commercials come on, everything is silenced except for the volume on the TV which increases, and we enjoy these small moments of laughter.  The first half of the game builds up to the half-time entertainment when we enjoy an amazing show of breath-taking moments.  These are all the moments that I look forward to in a Superbowl experience.

As I mentioned, there are many similarities between a Superbowl game and marriage.  First of all, there are a series of playoff games that finally identify the key draft choice and the most eligible receiver.  The team is then organized and preparations for the pre-game (or wedding) begin.  In my own marriage, we have been very fortunate to build a team that I will call “Team Hart Link” (playing against the other team, for purposes here called “Team Life”).  Our team consists of John and I who both share the role of quarterback leading the team but more importantly, we are backed up by amazing supporters including parents, brothers and sisters, and our children. We have had the benefit of very wise coaches. At times, it has been our parents teaching us about the rules of play, our children teaching us about new strategies, our brothers or sisters teaching us what to do when you are down.  We enjoy the support of cheerleaders and fans made up of so many friends – some of whom we have known for more than 30 years, and some of whom we have recently come to know.  In this game, that pits  us against “Team Life”, we have enjoyed many victories and endured occasional defeats. But throughout our struggles, we have greatly enjoyed so many wonderful commercials filled with laughter and moments of discovery - making the rest of the game so worthwhile.

But now it seems, we find ourselves taking a break during the half-time show. This is what we’ve waited for. Our children are grown.  We now have the joy of seeing them celebrate their lives and we have the amazing experience of enjoying our own grandchildren. We are in a place where we can savor the moments, big and small, and have attained a level of understanding about ourselves and our world, so that we know to appreciate those moments. We can drink wine, and eat wonderful treats, and enjoy the music and the spectacle of everything before us. Of course there are moments of stress and struggle in any half-time show (anyone remember Justin Timberlake and Janet Jackson and the debacle afterwards?) but if you are fortunate, there are more moments of laughter in your half-time than moments of distress. My hope is that this will be the longest half-time show ever and we will do everything we can to extend its time.

However, we can’t control the game clock. Eventually, half-time will end, and the work will begin once again.  Again, it will be us against “Team Life” as we continue down the field towards the final moments of the game. Throughout the game, our team may change, our fans may change, and we will ask our coaches for new lessons. Again, we will have victories and we will have defeats. There will be setbacks and turnovers, and there will be wonderful moments when touchdowns are achieved, and when the spirit of the game takes over and makes heroes out of normal players. 

At the end, the best I can imagine is to say that it has been a game well played, that we earned our place in the Superbowl, that we achieved our goal of championship success, and that throughout the game, there was much “holding”. 

So that is all that I know about football.  I hope you enjoy the game day today. For me, I will be celebrating half-time…