5 Great Reasons Why Empty Nesting Is Awesome!...I Tell Myself...

My daughter, Mollie, headed back to college yesterday and today I am celebrating my first day (once again) as an “Empty Nester”. I remember well three years ago when she left for her Freshman year, there were friends and family who I think feared for my well-being in dealing with her absence. I was proud to prove them wrong by quickly adjusting to my new life. It wasn’t that I didn’t miss Mollie…I missed her terribly. But I had the security of knowing that she was in a place that she loved, with people that were good to her, that she was doing what she wanted to do to create her own life. And if I could just make it through the school year, she would be home for the summer. I was proud of her…and I was proud of me. Today, as I welcome another school year, I started to think about all the benefits of being an Empty Nester and came up with “5 Great Reasons Why Empty Nesting Is Awesome”…

1.        Less laundry and fewer dishes to wash. Your workload changes dramatically when your child heads off to college. Suddenly, you are doing laundry and dishes for one less person meaning I will likely go from laundry duty at least twice each week to only one time a week at most. Since John and I rarely eat large meals when she is away, our dishes will amount to wine glasses and the occasional plate. Less workload means more time for me.

2.       More space in the house without all the extra college stuff. Each year when she comes home, we need to store all the necessary elements of daily survival that she requires the other 9 months of the year. This not only means additional clothes, but bedding, towels, toiletry products, TV’s, workout stuff, books, books, and more books, winter boots, winter jackets, tv stands, chairs, futons, tables…you get the picture. It is a lot of stuff and I have now reclaimed my home and my exercise room! No more excuses!

3.       I can reclaim the TV remote! Throughout the summer, I seem to find myself watching things that I would not normally watch – Criminal Minds, Carl Sagan-type Cosmos documentaries, and endless Bridezilla marathons. Now I can control the TV remote and can refocus on the shows that I like to watch. (Can't wait for the premier of "Revenge"!)

4.       My time is once again my own. With nobody else's agenda to consider (except John’s of course), I get to determine when and where I go shopping, or take a walk, or do my nails, or read a book, or anything else I want to do. My time is my own and I get to choose how to fill it.

5.       Freedom to turn up the music really loud, drink wine, and walk around wearing…anything or nothing. Everyone remembers that “my parents are out of town for the weekend”. It is remarkably similar to the joy found in empty nesting!

Yep – 5 Great Reasons Why Empty Nesting Is Awesome….at least, that’s what I tell myself. But here’s the thing. I don’t mind doing her laundry and fewer dishes really  just means fewer meals together. Having her stuff around reminds me of the person she is and I sort of miss tripping over her shoes sometimes. I can run the remote but watching TV is always more fun when she is around – we talk about what we are watching and we have lots of laughs. Yes, my time is my own…but what’s so bad about planning your day around someone else’s? I liked shopping with her, and taking walks, and talking about the books we were reading.  And Yes – I have the freedom to turn up the music really loud and walk around wearing whatever I do or don’t want to….but honestly, do I ever really do that?

Three years ago when she left for the first time, I managed pretty easily. But for some reason, I’m finding it a bit more difficult this year. I think it’s because this is her Senior year. In the past, I knew she would be at school for 9 months but then she would come home for awhile. This year, I don’t really know what the future will hold. I hope that she will be coming home again, but her life is her own and she will determine where it leads her. I don’t have the absolute certainty of more summers ahead.

But, for now, I focus on these 5 Great Reasons and I’ll keep focusing on them until I have myself convinced. I’ll enjoy a different way of living and look forward to the moments when she does come home for a visit. In the meantime, I’ll spend the time catching up on what I want to do. And, don’t worry, if I decide to pursue “Reason #5”, I’ll keep the blinds closed!