I went to class tonight with a fresh attitude. We are halfway through the series and class doesn't scare me anymore. I can't say that I feel completely at ease but I came to class tonight with the intention of being in the moment, taking from it what I could, and enjoying it while I was there.
It was actually completely enjoyable. There are few places I can think of that are less threatening or more welcoming to women. Everyone at the studio - students and teachers alike - have open minds and are truly just enjoying the moment they are in and maybe more importantly, enjoying the bodies they are in at that moment.
We have only tonight and next week to finish learning all the new moves for this session and then it is all about choreography for the "big show" (gulp). The moves tonight are...let me see if I can find just the right words to describe...kick-ass-tough. This isn't about sitting on a chair in a pretty pose or snapping out an 8-beat count. This is about jumping up on your chair - which believe it or not is actually much easier than the coming down which is supposed to go something like this...."Right foot down. Butt down. Left foot down". I challenge you to try that one....but have a spotter nearby. That is what we do. We help each other by holding the chair and standing by to support each other's efforts. We are there for one another if we fall and we are there for one another to offer tips on how to improve or to simply say "nice job!"
Another move has us doing a reverse crunch. Picture lying on your stomach and then using your lower abdominal muscles to lift your backside into the air as you slide back into a kneeling position - reverse crunch style. It is this move that makes me realize I'm missing lower abdominal muscles....completely missing them....as I lay on my stomach....and nothing happens. NOTHING. I can picture where my lower abdominal muscles SHOULD be. I can mentally think about moving them. But nothing happens. I'm not even kidding. I just lay there...paralyzed....like a fish out of water. Meanwhile my instructor keeps doing the move over and over....like some kind of freak of nature. She tells the class that it takes practice and once we get it down, it is the best ab workout anywhere. All I can think about is how badly my back is going to hurt tomorrow, as I roll over onto my back and take a deep breath.
As I'm leaving class, I see a sign hanging on the studio wall that says "Believe you can and you will." It's one of those things we see everywhere, platitudes that we are told too often as we face life's challenges. It is easy to say but not always so easy to do. There are thing that I'm learning in this class that I have doubts about being able to do no matter how much I "believe". But at the same time, there are things that I'm doing that I couldn't do four weeks ago - physically. And mentally, there are things that I'm seeing in myself that I may not have seen four weeks ago. Those are the things I'm working to believe in now.
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